So - I broke down in the middle of Wal-Mart today. It was pretty bad. I was just sobbing in my mother's arms.

For those of you who don't know - Kyle broke up with me friday night.

I'd rather not go into details.

All I know is that I love him like I've never loved anyone in my life. He's my best friend on top of everything else.

and I hurt so badly.

I can't even eat without needing to throw it all back up. I've lost 5 pounds already. It's kind of bad.

and I really... right now... just want to die. It feels like I have nothing to live for.

For 7 months we were official. For a year before that we were best friends.

It's seems forever.

If this didn't happen - I would have been willing to spend the rest of my life with him I love him THAT much.

I love him so much and I know I always will. He will always be a part of me.

and I miss him like no tomorrow.

I hope I can get over this soon so that I can at least be best friends with him again. Because if I can't be by his side as his girlfriend - I'm going to be by his side as his best friend.

He still wants to be friends and hang out this summer.

It'll just take me a while to get used to NOT holding him and NOT kissing him and NOT being with him.

I've been crying all weekend. Stayed in bed, can't walk, can't eat, can't breathe. it literally hurts to breathe.

You all probably think I'm pathetic - but it feels like I've lost a part of my soul. and it feels like my heart has been torn into tiny pieces and scattered in places that I'll never find them.